And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
