when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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