Porn is love you can see.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
