hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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