Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize