dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize