Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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