I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
