Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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