It's Friday. Sex?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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