the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
