Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
