im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Life without a bra equals bliss.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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