Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
