oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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