his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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