She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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