Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
