At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
