We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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