you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Redeem this text for a blowjob
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
