May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
