Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize