I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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