I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize