I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
