i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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