just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
