He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
