Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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