I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
