elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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