i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
