I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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