Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
