Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dicks are not precious.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
