I'm jealous of your bromance
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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