my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
