Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
