He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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