Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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