This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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