Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
