Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize