Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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