You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
