Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
