i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
