if you like me you must not know who I am
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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