epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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