I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
