The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
