help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
