just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize