she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
