i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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