not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Boobs speak an international language.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
