I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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