You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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