would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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