dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
