Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
