you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
