So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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