He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
