Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
