i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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