Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you win again, gameday.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
