Cold hands, warm shart.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
